Friday, May 4, 2012
The Avengers: Could Give an Infant a Mustache
Saturday, April 28, 2012
The Raven - As Sharp and Deep as a Sock Full of Soup

Edgar Allan Poe’s final week on earth is a mystery, even to this day. The Raven is a cinematic midrash of Poe’s last week alive. The sparkle of gorgeous costumes, the shine of lovely cinematography, and luminance of a strong supporting cast cannot escape the black hole that is John Cusack as Poe, the vacuum that is James McTeigue’s direction, and the suck that is Poe’s dialogue.
The much loved poet, but much loathed man Edgar Allan Poe (John Cusack) returned to Baltimore to win the hand of his love Emily Hamilton (Alice Eve). While he is in Baltimore, a killer uses his stories as a blueprint for killing and to get Poe’s attention. Poe’s personal connection to the killings goes far beyond that of inspiration to the killer.
There is something special about a movie that can transport you back in time and The Raven certainly does that. The sets scream late 1800’s America with hints of opulence and gobs of unfairness. The costumes are equally transportative. The costumes are like time machines for the audience wrapped around the actors.
The supporting cast saved The Raven from full cosmic collapse. Even though their dialogue was often unnatural and unconvincing, they delivered them with conviction. Kevin McNally is especially rewarding as Maddux, the editor of The Baltimore Patriot and verbal abuse victim of Poe. Luke Evans gave Detective Fields a professional passion that gave some depth and urgency to the movie. It was not their fault that writers Ben Livingston and Hannah Shakespeare provided them with a script that even the most obtuse person would realize is incredibly awkward and unnatural.
Livingston and Shakespeare wrote Poe like a thirteen year old stoner attempting to be sardonic but incapable because they lack the intelligence, depth, insight, or experience to take apart the self esteem of anyone without a suicide plan. As a result, Poe is constantly coming across as a dullard trying to come across like a literary genius, not a literary genius speaking down to lesser minds. I am certain Livingston and Shakespeare were trying to make Poe a total douche bag, but they don’t have the vinegar to fill the bag.
John Cusack does not give the character any sting or sour either. Endearing douche-baggery is a challenge for any actor to pull off successfully and Cusack fails at both. Cusack’s performance was as sharp and deep as a sock full of soup. He cannot muster the insecurity that makes sarcasm necessary, the malice to make it effective, or the impatience that comes with genius. Instead of embodying what they writers attempted to convey, he perfectly embodied and exaggerated what the writers actually created; a junior high schooler’s characterization of a meanie-pants.
James McTeigue should have worked with Cusack, Livingston and Shakespeare on giving the main character some depth. He was too busy ordering eyeball, teeth, and earring shots from the camera operators to bother improving Poe. Alice Eve’s eyes, the actor who plays the killer’s teeth and eyes all deserve their own credits. There must be fifteen minutes of slobbery teeth, and gushy eyeballs on screen.
About five minutes into the film, the man sitting next to me fell asleep and started snoring. We rode the elevator out of the theater together and he offered that he enjoyed the movie. Had sleep been part of my The Raven experience, I may have enjoyed it as well.
A pretty costume coating cannot change an overwhelming truth; The Raven is a masterful manifestation of mediocrity.
Friday, March 9, 2012
John Carter - The Death of a Thousand Lines
Thursday, July 22, 2010
Salt: A Bloody Belly Flop
CIA agent Evelyn Salt’s (Angelina Jolie) life is thrown into turmoil when her loyalty is questioned in front of her bosses by a man named Orlov (Daniel Olbrychski) who claims to be an agent high up in the Russian government. They accuse her of knowing about the murder of a Russian dignitary. Worse, she knows that her husband, a Mike Krause (August Diehl), a German arachnologist, is in danger from the people who think she’s betrayed them. Like a caged animal, she breaks out of her surroundings, to find her husband.
When I left the theater after seeing Salt, I all could hear was the eternally true expression; two wrongs don’t make a right. While the acting could pass as adequate, the writing and directing left that adage bouncing around my brain. The writing was shallow and lacking any emotional connection, even though it was obvious that there was an attempt to pull on our heart strings. Writer Kurt Wimmer tries to throw curveballs at the audience but only succeeds and t-ball quality pitches. The actions of the characters range from perplexing to downright strange.
The director, Phillip Noyce, couldn’t elevate the action scenes to a level to compensate for the thin writing. The actors, most of which were convincing and interesting, just had nothing to work with. They were like Olympic divers trying to do triple pikes off a six inch high diving board into a puddle; a bloody belly flop is inevitable.
Noyce should be nominated for the “Use of Stereotypes: Costumes Award”. One could create a drinking game around spotting a Russian. Every time he wants to plant an inference about Jolie’s character, or the other spy characters, there is a clumsy use of fur. American’s can’t be credited with the greatest international understanding, but even to us, using furry hats to tell us something about the character tells me that Noyce thinks we have the culture understanding of a bowl of soup.
I spent more time shifting in my seat than captivated. My fingernails suffered no nibbling from intense emotion but came out of the theater especially clean from the preening they experienced during Salt. I was so disinterested during Salt, I deliberately focus myself on the movie and had to stop myself from writing the review in my head in the cinema.
The ending of Salt left me shaking in fear. It was the only time in the movie that I felt truly, deeply rocked by emotion. Just as I could feel the wave of relief that the movie was finally coming to an end, the ending was a tsunami of terror washing away all my hope.
Angelia Jolie kicks major cross-continental ass, but the fight choreography and killings add nothing to the overall story. In the end she was the unfortunate Olympic diver. Salt’s answer the age old question: What’s worse than an action movie with no plot? A boring action movie with no plot.
Friday, July 2, 2010
The Last Airbender: It's Good, If You Don't Like Good Dialogue
While out hunting, Katara (Nicola Peltz) and her brother Sokka (Jackson Rathbone), of the water tribe, find a frozen sphere with a boy and his floating beast of burden inside. When he escapes the bubble, the brother and sister realize he is different. He is an airbender. Aang (Noah Ringer) is the last of the Air tribe. Aang is not just the last of his kind, he is what the world has been missing to keep the world in balance. When the leaders of the Fire Tribe realize Aang is alive, they dedicate their resources to hunting him down.
A bender is a person who can manipulate the elements of the earth. There are earth, fire, water and wind benders. They control the elements using what appear to be martial arts forms. Much of the movie is the characters using these forms. Occasionally the forms get a bit tiring because there is a disconnection between the motion and the effect, but generally, they are beautiful expressions of discipline. More than just the forms, the fight choreography is captivating. There are transitions between live and computer generated fights that are hard to spot.
In fact, there is no shortage of pristine aesthetics in The Last Airbender. Director and M. Night Shyamalan paid extraordinary and particular attention to the way movie’s visual story. The settings, across an entire world, are rich with cultures. Each group of people and place has their own clothing, terrain, and lifestyle. The differences between different places and people range from subtle to blaringly obvious.
Shyamalan’s most obvious point is that not respecting the sacred is not only immoral, but has world changing consequences. As an atheist, I spent the entire second half of the movie rolling my eyes at how evil those who do not respect the gods are portrayed. M. Night Shyamalan’s opinion about atheists is that 1: We put power first, 2: we don’t care about the world, and 3: we will take, take, take without remorse. It wasn’t enough for him to show spirits that show up for work, it was not enough to show the heroes as warriors of their spirits, no. He had to go a step further, showing those lacking a reverence for the supernatural beings of this realm as so ruthless that they are willing to sacrifice everything for power. Shyamalan can blame us evil atheists all he wants to, but he is only showing his complete inability to escape the restraints of his faith, not the truth of the matter.
The thinly veiled theological biases aside, The Last Airbender is full of lines dumped in the middle or end of a scene that make no sense. Twenty minutes will go by, I’d be lost in the beauty of the movie and the kung fu, when BAAM – a line, usually delivered with all sincerity but horrible timing, that made me go cross-eyed. In one particularly memorable scene, out of nowhere, one character waits fifteen seconds after the last line is delivered and then orders another character to do something so obvious, it didn’t need to be said. She might as well have said during a fight, “Hit that guy.” Every time one of those dump sentences popped up, I checked out for a moment, unable to suspend my disbelief. M. Night Shyamalan then had to earn my trust again, taking time and energy that should have been applied to being emotionally involved in the story.
If you are a theist who wants to watch fights in pretty places, The Last Airbender is just the movie for you. For my ten bucks though, I demand writing that doesn’t make it impossible to care about the story.
Thursday, April 15, 2010
Kick Ass - It's fun but that's it.
Late blooming high schooler Dave Lizewski (Aaron Johnson) can’t seem to catch a break. Bullies make easy work of him. Frustrated with the abuse and injustice, Dave goes vigilante and becomes Kick Ass. His self-promoted celebrity does not go unnoticed by Mindy (Chloe Moretz) and Damon Macready (Nicholas Cage); a well trained father-daughter vigilante team armed to the teeth. Kick Ass’s interludes into crime fighting also catches the attention of a local crime boss, Frank D’Amico (Mark Strong).
All of us have felt the sting of injustice or have felt relegated to the humiliating circle of helplessness. I’d guess that 99.9% of us wanted to take action to correct it but because of the law or maybe just plain cowardice we took one for the “let’s be civilized” team. Kick Ass lets us play revisionist history and play out our butt kicking fantasies from the safety of a theater seat; good and bad.
Kick Ass is a pretty sincere look at what might happen if average folk went out and tried to stop criminals. Yes, it is wrapped in outlandish comedy, and sometimes over the top non-sensery but it is not a candy coated adventure for Dave. Things go terribly wrong. He screws up. Usually it’s a matter of passing importance, but occasionally, the mistake is immeasurable.
For the most part though, his dalliance into super heroism is a giggle-coaxing charm. His hero warm-ups are classic. His girl troubles are a relatable snicker-inducing mess and prove, yet again, that boys will do anything for sex.
On the other hand Mindy and Damon’s emotions run deep; their motivations are scars in their history. They have dedicated a great deal of their life’s energy to revenge and the utter destruction of their enemies. Their story has little levity, but gives weight to Kick Ass, even when he is unaware. The atypical parental relationship is tender, in a strangely brutal way.
The writing for both Damon and Mindy borders on displeasing, often not campy enough to throw it over the edge, but too campy to be taken seriously. There are no easy, unobstructed moments between the two.
My major complaint about Kick Ass is that it doesn’t merge the emotion of the two concurrent plot lines well enough. The Mindy-Damon story attempts to be heartbreaking and multi-faceted, but really only blossoms into a slightly more complex motive. When they finally meet, they still seem like they are running next to each other, not with each other.
There are no shortage of hand to hand combat and gun fights in this flick. The close quarter fight scenes made me feel like I was dodging fists. The weapons discussions, between allies and enemies, will make even the most hardened audience member laugh out loud. The final combat sequence is worth sneaking into the theater to see alone.
Kick Ass has one huge plus: a girl hero with her clothes on. Yes, she is a sailor-mouthed elementary school student. Yes, her childhood was unconventional. Yes, she is bad ass. Kick Ass proves that girls can kick down doors, shoot guns, swear and kick the stuffing out of villains without risk of wardrobe malfunction. Take note, other directors and writers, girls in clothing don’t just get raped or beaten up; they can also rat-a-tat-tat yo ass.
Kick Ass probably won’t go down as a classic comedy or superhero movie, but it sure is a fun way to spend a couple of hours. Giving yourself a brief glimpse of your superhero career and a few good laughs is worth the price of the ticket.
Wednesday, March 24, 2010
The Massive Boy Scout Sexual Abuse Cover-up and the Silent Acceptance Through Participation
These allegations are especially cutting when one considers that the Boy Scouts allegedly allowed Scoutmasters who they knew were pedophiles to continue to lead while they turned away honorable atheists and gay people who wanted to be leaders. The Boy Scouts of America has, through their actions, demonstrated that they find atheism less “morally straight” (part of the Scout Oath) than sexually abusing the children in their care. This is a disgusting policy, one that should shame each and every person who has participated in the BSA in the last 90 years.
One must expect that sexual abuse and abusers will find their way to children, no matter the setting. The BSA must anticipate having child molesters in their ranks, given the scale of their organization and the number of boys in their group. The “Perversion Files” allegedly are not just a list of people of whom to not allow in the BSA because of their predilections, but also contains names of people the BSA let in, knowing their predilections. This extended implanted pedophilic action makes everyone who has given money to the BSA in the last 90 years unknowing participants in the sexual abuse of children. The American federal government, meaning the tax payers of the United States, have given money to the Boy Scouts for decades.
While American bigotry allowed the Boy Scouts to perpetrate acts of hate in the name of “being morally straight”, the resulting lack of examination allowed these crimes to continue. The pseudo-religious, paramilitary, “morally straight” organizational structure creates the perfect storm for concealing wrong-doing. When the moral standard of the organization is the purpose of its existence, it can only continue to thrive if the people the group serves, in this case, boys and their parents, and the overall community believe the organization provides a strong ethical structure for the group. Thus, the reputation of a group becomes more essential than the actual practices of the group. Anything that damages the reputation or image of the organization must be contained, to prevent exposure. In a press release the BSA reaffirms this point by discussing values, image, and ideals but not actions of the Boy Scouts of America.
While we are deeply disturbed by the actions alleged in this lawsuit, they do not represent the values and ideals of the BSA or its councils, professionals, members, or chartered organizations.
It is less important to groups like the BSA that their actions be “morally straight”, but that their image is “morally straight.” When a child comes forth with allegations of abuse, this one case becomes an overall case of brand image. As a consequence, the organization’s image and missions are entirely threatened. It is no longer an issue of child abuse or rape, but an issue of damaging the reputation of millions of people and the group as a whole. A well-meaning person could see it as doing a greater good to hush up the child.
When applied on the scale of the BSA or the Catholic Church, it becomes a systematic practice that harms thousands, maybe millions of children as well as their families. The only way to assure abuses do not becomes systematic is to ruthlessly decimate the false ultra-moral image of the BSA, demand transparency, jail those who covered up abuses and demand they comply with societal standards of behavior.
This is done most effectively by parasites, not attack dogs. People already inside the organization need to withdraw their children and financial support. They need to make it clear that they are leaving the group as long as there are “perversion files” and as long as all people are not allowed in their ranks. I suspect a 5% reduction in numbers would significantly damage the financial bottom line enough to get their attention.
Parents of young boys who have considered entering their boys into Boy Scout programs need to write and tell them that they will not be enrolling their child in the BSA as long as they have a policy of covering up the molestation of the children in their group. I suggest including a check for the enrollment amount with the word VOID written over it. Nothing gets a big organizations attention like a check they cannot cash.
Eagle Scouts (the highest rank in the BSA, a lifelong title that earns an instant promotion in the Army as well as other social considerations) need to come forward with the radical stance that molesting children is wrong, even in the BSA. If they actually believe in the title of an Eagle Scout and what it is supposed to mean, they need to come forward and act bravely, a demand of an Eagle Scout. Speaking directly to their local councils and demand they take a position on the “Perversion Files”, will make a contract with the boys in their charge to report any abuse to the authorities, require them to act within the law, will train Scoutmasters how to report abuse, establish a confidential abuse reporting service and force transparency on the national level. After discussing it on a local level, a council of Eagle Scouts needs to be conveyed independently to write a formal demand of the Boy Scouts of America.
Eagle Scouts need to refrain from participating in any BSA activities. This includes scout meetings, trips, jamborees, or any other event. I encourage Eagles to continue their activities informally until the BSA comes into compliance with common decency.
Scoutmasters, Assistant Scoutmasters, Cubmasters, Assistant Cubmasters and Den Mothers need to withdraw from the organization, with the same policy as the Eagles, until they condemn pedophilia, and commit to a culture of transparent inclusiveness. They need to do this for two reasons. First, it’s the morally correct position. Second is the matter of self-preservation. Until the BSA roots out all the pedophiles and pedophile enablers, the taint is on every single, individual Scout Leader, Assistant Scout Leader, Council Member, Den Mother, etc. The outside world should look upon them as potential threats, because they are, as long as there is an exclusionary, secretive culture in the BSA. Without a significant change, the image of the BSA will be that of NAMBLA, with the same connotations. They should join with the Eagle Scouts and write a separate formal demand with the same provisions as the Eagle Scouts.
I encourage the former scouts and their parents to write letters of disgust and support any demands for transparency made by people inside scouts. This policy put them or their children in danger. Even if they were not hurt, the policy did not assure the utmost protection for their children and violated the trust they put in the organization.
The Scout Law, “A Scout is: Trustworthy, Loyal, Helpful, Friendly, Courteous, Kind, Obedient, Cheerful, Thrifty, Brave, Clean, Reverent” is the perfect trap for a pedophile to lay. If a child actually believes these things, a molester and the BSA could use the law against them. A boy who wants to refuse a sexual advance is being disobedient. Then the pedophile can warn the child that if he tells someone he is not loyal to his troop or to the BSA by making the group look bad. Talking about sexual abuse is certainly not friendly or cheerful. Putting people in jail is not kind or helpful. Having sex before married or having gay sex is unclean and irreverent. If he goes against the wishes of Scoutmaster and tells someone, he is not being obedient. Trustworthy scouts would know how to keep secrets. Lastly, a brave child would deal with the sexual abuse themselves, without telling someone.
Without a significant change in the culture of the BSA, the pedophilia will continue, the cover-up will persist, and this cycle of violence will persevere. Refusing to take action against the BSA policies of pedophilia is to enable it to occur. Any Eagle Scout, Scoutmaster, Den Mother, Council Member, parent, child, supporter, or person, who cannot stand up against the molestation of children has no place in any organization with children.
The Boy Scouts have two choices: the status quo, or live up to their oath, law, slogan and promise. Continue to allow children to be abused or change. How could anyone who believes in any aspect of the Scout Law think covering up pedophilia or not speaking up makes a person, trustworthy, loyal, helpful, friendly, courteous, kind, obedient, cheerful, thrifty, brave, clean, or morally straight? I ask the Boy Scout community: do you pay these ideals lip service, be a hypocrite and do nothing, or act with bravery to honor the trust given by these boys, their families and the community? Will you do nothing to wipe the stain of pedophilia from the sash worn so proudly?
http://www.cbsnews.com/stories/2007/08/28/eveningnews/main3213145.shtml
http://chattahbox.com/us/2010/03/19/boy-scouts-let-confessed-pedophile-remain-as-scoutmaster/
http://scouting.org/News/Oregon.aspx
http://taxdollars.freedomblogging.com/2010/03/19/boy-scouts-kept-secret-files-on-molestors-lawyer-says/53597/
http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/us_boy_scouts_sex_abuse
http://www.redwoodbsa.org/ContactUs.html
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Boy_Scouts_of_America_membership_controversies#Position_on_atheists_and_agnostics
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Eagle_Scout_%28Boy_Scouts_of_America%29
http://www.scouting.org/scoutsource/CubScouts/AboutCubScouts/ThePack/cmast.aspx

